CAUTION:too hot to handle:): July 2011

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Dear Papa

HI. I can't think of words to start this letter for you although I know, you wont be able to read this. I don't want this letter to be a dramatic one, but maybe I can be transparent and open the things that I really wanted to tell you personally. First, I want to say thank you for giving me the chance to live and be in this superb(if I may say) world. At times, I find it difficult, but you taught me how to be strong in a way. You didn't really got the chance to watch me grow and you were not able to guide me as well. I have a lot of bitterness to say, but I guess it's nonsense to say those. As I was growing up, I didn't feel much the "father figure" that I thought I would have and every child would want to have. You left us though we know you are just there. That's the most heart breaking part of it. At first, I lack the comprehension as to why you were like an invisible father to us. In the beginning I thought you didn't like us because you just let us go through tough times without even lending us a helping hand. As a child, it made me feel undone to see my mother suffering and the only one worrying for our family. I have seen how you treated mother, and I committed to myself that I will never marry a man like you. You might hate me saying these things but umm, that's the fruit of your actions and I'm just responding to it. You made me think that living is chaotic and life will always be miserable. It seems like everyone will always say "nope" to me. As I grow older, these things didn't hinder me to become a better person. I realized that the experiences that I got from you were helpful. It made me grow as an individual. I noticed that, the main lesson I've learned from you is to be independent. You taught me how to not be dependent and relay on other people in a positive note.. You taught me that I should not expect something from people, for if they failed to meet that, I will be frustrated and will become bitter. It made me better that's the good news. You also taught me how to think first before doing something. Just like what you did to our family, you didn't think of our future, so I said to myself I wont ever imitate that kind of mentality. The last lesson that I could ever think of today is you taught me how to love. As a father, you didn't show it as well. Loving others especially my family is one thing that gives me the edge why I already forgave you. Because you didn't show love to us, though I know, you have that hence you were not able to express it properly. I want to be your representative. I want to cover the things and fill the things you didn't do for us so that at the end of the day, it will be your credits. It will give the connotation of you filling us with your benevolence and nurtured us. I still think of you.
I'm sorry for the things I have done wrong. I'm sorry for not being the daughter that you would want me to be. It's just me, because of you.

Life is a pair of shoes

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Of all the blessings I received from the Almighty, life is the most challenging. It has a lot of meanings and it gives a lot of meanings. Sometimes it is in harmony, at times it is in rankle. Sometimes it brings blessings, at times it gives curse. Life is an adventure, and the lead actors and actresses in this story is none other but us. It is a never ending journey and we must walk and abide on it.
In life, we walk and run literally. Enable for a person to have a good moment doing these activities, one should have a nice pair of shoes. It will lead us to a more joyful ride and it'll help to unleash the excitement while walking and running. I want to emphasize about the "walking" and the "running" thing.
Walking. It is needed in our life. It will take us wherever we want to go. Our shoes as our means of transportation. We need to walk as days passes by. We have nothing to do but yo go with the flow. There will be times that we need to walk with our family and friends; our love ones, however most of the time we walk alone. It is melancholic to walk alone, but we soon realize that we reflect taking a leap of faith and mature. We walk in happy and in agony.
But there will be times that walking will not be enough to go to a place and as we run, it speeds up and boosts our adrenaline. There will be giants in life that we cannot escape. Just run and deal with it. You will perspire and get tired, hence at the end of the day, all efforts will be credited. Run with conviction.
slowing down or moving forward is a matter of of choice. It's either we dwell on the past or forget what lies behind.
Our stuff to use in walking and running in this life is our shoes. It will take us to wherever we want to go. It will protect us from any thorns or creatures that we might step in. We put our feet in it and confidently put our trust. For me life is a pair of shoes, we must have someone to share our life even to the most difficult or easy time. Someone who will make us feel comfortable and just like a pair of shoes, someone who will fit in our lives without forcing it.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

THE OMEGA

THROUGH THE WIND'S WILL
WE BID GOODBYE
THROUGH THE PALM OF FATE
WE GOT CAUGHT IN THE THORNS OF DILEMMA

HOW BITTER I FEEL NOW
HOW SOUR THOSE MEMORIES TO RECALL
WHENEVER LOVE LOOKS BACK,
I HAVE THIS FEELING OF BEING BLUE

HOW CAN DESTINY PLAYED WITH THY FEELINGS?
HOW CAN DESTINY LET IT END?
DESTINY INTRODUCED ME TO HIM
AND YET, DESTINY SEPARATED ME FROM HIM

I CANNOT SAY THAT I'M A LUNATIC IN THIS SHOW
BECAUSE I GAVE MY LOVE
HIS TREE, I FILLED WITH FRUITS,
HIS CUP, I FILLED WITH WINE

I CANNOT ESCAPE FROM THIS SADNESS,
MY FACE THAT WAS SHEAD WITH TEARS.
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT FATE TOOK
THE OMEGA OF OUR TIME